Why is it that we girls insist on asking the stupid, unkind and unfair questions of our husbands? The words "Do I look fat?", "Am I prettier than she is?" and "Will you still love me if I look like a buluga whale after this baby comes?" Should never cross our lips. What do we expect them to say? The truth? What if the truth hurts? And why is it that we doubt their love so much we feel the need to ask those vain, self validating or self destructive questions? We are in deep enough on our own with our issues without draggin' some other innocent bystander in with us. Namely our husbands, boyfriends or significant others.
Now over the years I have worked very hard at keeping these questions to myself. Always reminding myself they are self centered and unproductive. However from time to time one slips out and becomes a disaster. My poor Corey has put up with these questions and answered them lovingly everytime.
Combine these questions with the overload of emotions that come with pregnancy and you've got an atomic bomb waiting to happen. Thankfully for Corey I don't have a temper so my anger emotion has been left as per usual - untouched. The downside for him is, my tear ducts, which used to leak from time to time have turned into a 7/11 - open 24 Hours. And however happy the people at Kleenex brand are about my now bulk purchases of the handy tissues, it leaves something to be desired for the sain people trying to live with me.
Yesterday proved to be no exception. While shopping for a crib matress one of those destructive questions slipped out - "If I wasn't pregnant would I look fat?" Now what kind of question is that? I mean seriously if I wasn't pregnant there wouldn't be a pumpkin growing in my belly. Corey could have said "Of course not, you look perfect ." and I would have responded "What perfectly round?" Nothing was comforting and he said all the right things. "You're not fat, I love you, you're beautiful...." and so on. But I wasn't listening...poor guy.
For those of you who know Corey, you can attest to his unending smile and amazing attentive abilities. I am truely blessed to be married to such an understanding man. Nobody else would laugh of my irrationability, kiss me and tell me that no matter what he's gonna be there and love me. Most men would have rolled their eyes, told me to get a grip and headed for the tool section.
This being said I am desperately looking for someone to reassure me that once this baby comes out I will go back to normal. It will happen, won't it? I'll go back to only crying over sappy movies and touching cards, instead of every second commercial and the fact that my cereal box is empty, right? And if not...can you just pretend for now to preserve what's left of my husband's sanity?