The Gods are crazy!

It seems this past Fall has left Corey and I with choices to make.  In fact we've had changes, choices and trials coming out the wazoo.  And ya know what, this wazoo, is tired, confused and closed for business.  (Some how no matter how many times I wrote that sentence it never sounded right...)
Before Audrey got sick Corey and I were faced with a decision about his work situation.  It wasn't really a surprise as we knew it was coming, but the time had come for Corey to make a career change.  The marine industry, especially here in the good ol' Wack is pretty volitile.  The shop would be busy all summer and slow like a frozen dog all winter.  And while some of the places Corey'd worked had been able to provide some kind of income over the winter months this particular employer couldn't/wouldn't (nepotism sucks when you're not the nephew).  Add to that, Corey had been feeling unsatisfied and his boss treated him, lousy - actually lousy doesn't even begin to describe it but for the sake of letting by gones be by gones and all that jazz I'll leave it there.  But work up until September was slowly sapping the life out of my ever joyful husband, we were all feeling the effects of his unhappy days.

So, I saddled up to the computer to update his resume, because quite simply computers are my thing, just like tools and car stuff are Corey's (did you know a differential was big and can't fit into a car trunk?  I didn't, till now).  We both proof read it and off he went, it wasn't until a few weeks later that Corey noticed a small typo on my part where instead of writing about how Corey "assessed and diagnosed marine engines" I wrote "asses and diagnosed" um, oops.  Anyways, he was hired to go back driving semi-truck on day trips and working in the yard at a local steel and salvage company.  He was also training at a concrete plant and making up for lost hours with my Dad framing.  Since work was already scares and the steel place had guaranteed full time work, we bit the bullet, wrote the resignation letter and Corey quit.

It was God's timing as the changes that were to come at his previous employeers would surely have decreed the amount of work he'd have had.  We settled (and I mostly mean me) into the idea of something new and prepared to carry on.  Just when I figured things would settled down Audrey got sick.  We survived that,  and were feeling exhausted but encouraged, God was surely guiding our way.

About 3 weeks in, Corey and I were on our way to the city and were just talking about how he felt this could be long term and a great opprotunity for us, when the phone rang.  It was his supervisor informing him that steel had dropped it's stock price so dramatically they had to face lay offs and since Corey was the newbie he was the first to go.

What?!

It felt surreal.  We hadn't made this choice lightly, infact we'd both together and seperately spent hours in prayer over it and felt this was God's leading.  After that phone call, I wasn't so sure.  While I've never doubted God's love for us, His continued support and guidance, His faithfulness, I was seriously questioning His sanity.

In some of those moments I was pretty sure He was clear off His rocker.  And I told Him so. 

I believe very firmly that God, being all seeing and all knowing like He is knows what we are thinking long before we even want to think it.  And I believe that to have a true relationship with Him, I need to communicate those thoughts as plainly and as clearly as I do to and with my own husband when I'm less than impressed with him. 

God heard it all, my frustration over work, my anger over letting my baby get sick, my confusion over making decisions regarding my own health and my over all defeat.  "We've prayed so hard, we've tried even harder to follow your path, why are you letting this happen?  Why aren't you answering my prayers, I'm tired of waiting.  Do you even care?  Are you listening?  Seriously, ARE YOU LISTENING?!"

He did, in fact listen, without interrupting my tirade, to all the complaining, grumbling and whining.  And when it was done, He left me silent for a while.  Completely blank (don't laugh) and then He cuffed me upside with a real dose of reality.

"Not only am I listening Ashley, I'm provinding, I'm guiding and I'm answering.  And while Yes, some of your prayers have been answered - wait, the most important one has been answered with a resounding yes!  Look in your rearview mirror at your daughters fast asleep.  What do you ask me over and over?  What is it you plead with me on a daily, if not hourly basis?  What is it, that keeps you breathing?"

Oh.  You are so right.

You see, I plead with God on a regular basis to protect my family.  To hold my daughters in His hands and to keep my family in His embrace.  I pray often, very often that we will face any storm God places in our weather system, as long as He please, please protect my family, allowing us to grow up and grow old together.  It's not a bargin, it's a plea.  And while I don't always know if that will happen, each day I rest in the fact that He's in charge and today, His answer was yes.

I shared those things with Corey and we had a new found sense of understanding.  He continued searching for work and we, continued to be thankful before being ungrateful where God and his answers were concerned.

2 weeks later, to the day, Corey's cellphone rang again.  It was the steel company, their dispatch had called the yard looking for Corey to do a run and was floored that he wasn't there.  He had work for Corey, and so, Corey's lay off officially ended.  Thank you Father!

And while things are somewhat up in the air with the amount of work and scheduling, God's providing and teaching life altering lessons once again.

We have more choices to make, some, that will require another post all together.  But for now, in this moment, I believe, with my whole heart that my Father, the One who answers my prayers, listens to my ramblings and comforts my soul, actually is in control.  And He is more sane, than I'll ever be.

Favorites of the Week

Bethany being the "little Mother".  Notice the crown...

Sick of being the mommy, ready to be the baby

Showing the real Mommy her Princess 'Tude after being told to,

"Take that bottle out of your mouth already!" 

Blowing kisses

 

Hanging out watching her big sister...

 

Audrey say, "Cheese!"

Ok, ok, enough pictures Mom!

Happy Weekend Everyone!

H1N1, this one that one

Everywhere you look right now there are signs, posters, and pamphlets, with H1N1 written in bold across their surfaces.  You can't sign into Facebook or read your favorite blogs without hearing of someone who's contracted it, someone who's pro vaccine and another dozen who aren't.  Everyone's got an opinion, "information" is in abundance, although it's difficult to know what's fact and what's fiction, some have tents in Camp Get a Shot and others are set up over at Camp Forget-about-It.  Both camps are growing in number and most attendees are given megaphones upon check in and are shouting/typing their opinion in CAPITAL LETTERS at anyone who will listen.

I (and when I say I, I mean we.  It's just that I, am the one talking), have been on the fence.  Being a girl of leisure I hate camping and chosing sides makes my palms sweat.  I live in "what if" land and have spent the better part of a week sorting through pamphlets, e-mails, well intended Facebook comments and websites.  I visited BC's H1N1 Information site put out by our government. I checked on Alberta's site as well to confirm or deny a report that I received from a friend that Edmonton and Calgary had cancelled their H1N1 vaccine clinics - that's untrue, they are still happening.  I even went over to the World Heath Organization's (WHO) website, since they are the ones who issued this pandemic status, they should have the latest data. 

I am not a flu shot getter.  I spent many years in pharmacy and while being exposed to dozens of sickies a day (not sickos, those were few and far between) wasn't enough to convince me, but this time, over this strain I've been thinking about it.  In fact, it's been on my gut to get it, and after doing the research, talking to my husband and today talking to our doctor, we've decided to get the shot for our girls.  And when the time comes ourselves as well.

I know there are risks, there are risks to getting into a car, but we all do that, there are risks in trusting someone, but we do that too, there are risks in not getting it - that, is up to you.  An e-mail from a
friend yesterday put it all into perspective for me.  Jesus is in control.  Period. ( She didn't say period, I'm saying period to emphasize the point.)

I have a hard time reliquishing that to Him, in fact, there are days I down right fight it.  But He is in control, and more over, my children are His children first.  A fact that I struggle with everyday, my inner control freak (ok, she's not so inner most days) wants to hold them close and protect them myself for all of eternity, but the fact remains that it was Jesus who placed them in my arms and it is Jesus who is allowing them to stay there.  He gave them to me and I believe, with my whole heart that He will keep us together. 

However, Jesus calling us to trust in Him to love, provide and protect, is not him giving us license to sit on the tushie he gave us and wait for Him to do everything for us.  He gave us free will and a choice.  It's all part of the trust thing, by taking our problems, or dilemma's to Him and asking that He help us make the right choice, we are being obedient.   Then we have to take a leap of faith and trust that the choice we make is being lead by Him.  It's not really that easy to do sometimes, but it is that simple.

So, I took everything I learned and felt, left it with him and concluded that we will vaccinate our daughters.  And in doing that I will trust that He is going to protect us and keep us together.  It's the best I can do.

What are you chosing to do?

A list about Halloween, read from my Soap Box

In honor of Halloween I have decided to post a list! Because we all know that I love Lists!! There are things I love and things I don't love about Halloween, and in true Ashley Fashion, there are also some serious opinions that follow me around (actually that's not true, they don't follow me around, the generally spew forth from my lips on a regular basis. Whether asked for or not). And since, I'm feeling a little blah, I figured a list was the most logical and self soothing way of sending them all out there.

So, without further adue (if that's how one would spell that), my Halloween List:

Things I love about Halloween:

1. I love seeing all the kidlets dressed up in their uber cute costumes
2. Any holiday that has chocolate as it's focal point (which makes Valentine's Day and Easter pretty sweet too!) is alright with me
3. Mini chocolates are even better because they can be packed easy in diaper bags for emergency bribes snacks and hold enough chocolate to satisfy me without being a caloric overload.
4. Halloween marks the end of October and the induction of November. Before you say duh listen...the start of November means that humming Christmas Carols through the mall is acceptable not weird and Christmas decorations are in abundance.
5. Most importantly Halloween, is always celebrated on October 31st, and October 31st is the day my Mom was born! So that makes it a pretty awesome "holiday" (not sure if you call halloween a holiday) or not, this day is wicked awesome. Without her birth, there wouldn't be my birth or the birth of my children, and that then this blog wouldn't exsist and, subsequently you'd be eternally bored.

Things I dislike/hate about Halloween:

1. I do not love the scary costumes, yard decorations or television shows. I'm a scaredy cat who still can't watch Sleeping Beauty because that witch upsets me! So it's only natural that headless horsemen, dead people and ghoulish figures don't sit well with me.***
2. I dislike how expensive Halloween candy seems to be getting, when I was in retail we did not sell a 12 piece bag of KitKat for $4. Now this might make me cheap, but seriously dude, I could by 3 chocolate bars, cut them up and wrap them in foil for less. If this didn't make me look like a poisoning creepo I just might do it...
3. I hate that any holiday centered around chocolate can result in the tightening of pants. I'm not sure how that happens when each chocolate bar is only 50 calories but after about 25 of them I don't feel so well, and neither do my blue jeans. *cough* Self control *cough, cough*
4. Each Halloween means my Mom celebrates another birthday (which is wonderful, we are always grateful she's here!) but it also means that I will have just had yet another one myself (post about that to come) and that means I'm getting older. I'm not so sure I like getting older. She however is frozen at 29. I counted how many years she's "been 29" and actually laughed out loud in a store, it's over 20 Ha!
5. I am tired of explaining to everyone why I am not dressing my kids up this year. see the paragraph to follow. This also ends THE LIST.


When asked if I am planning on dressing my girls up or taking them trick or treating, my answer this year is no. It is immediately assumed that I disapprove of Halloween or that my relationship with God is stopping me from participating in this, "Satanic Holiday". WRONG! I am not dressing my children up because I don't like dressing up myself, and getting into the mood to dress up two little girls who at this point do not need the huge amount of sugar that comes with trick or treating and who do not care about costumes, feels like more work than I'm ready to take on. So, until they say they are ready or want to participate I'm bailing on my motherly duty.

I grew up in a Christian home, and each and every year participated in Halloween (I don't say celebrated because that takes things to a different level for me). My parents never allowed or encouraged us to dress as anything I deem unacceptable (read: dead, scary, etc) but they did allow us to "be" who or what we wanted to be. It was like taking our dress up box - something similar to the tickle trunk- to the next level. Then as the years passed, and I grew more body conscious I only chose to dress up for work when it was mandatory. Not for anything other than how it made me feel inside. We still carve pumpkins, hand out candy most years and while having a party for my Mom, enjoy the fun that Halloween can be.

My first Halloween

Dressing up under protest ( my tail might be missing because I accidentally peed on it...oops)

This wasn't Halloween but an awesome day!

If you chose to celebrate or not celebrate Halloween that is your choice. I won't judge you on it, I won't force how I feel about it on you, but what I ask is that in return you don't force it on me. Please don't attempt to guilt me into dressing the girls up, or try to make me feel guilty that I don't carry a stake and shout "DOWN WITH HALLOWEEN", while marching up and down the candy laid and pumpkin smashed streets. It won't be guilt you are creating, but rather feeding the wrath that is my temper. I don't believe for one minute that the God that I love and serve has any problem with people dressing up appropriately and having a great time together. I think it pleases Him greatly to see us enjoy the humour and pleasure that can come from being something we aren't for awhile, in moderation, as long as in everything we do we set an example for Him, and offer him praise. I do however believe, that Satan worship, Jesus bashing and reckless behaviour are NOT ok with Him. However, as much as those things are a part of Halloween, they happen year round. The people who are truly focused on the "evil" portion of Halloween, practice their beliefs on a regular basis. I don't agree with them, I don't want those practices in my home, but what you chose to do with you and your life is between you and God. It's not my place to judge (a post on that too is pending). I strongly believe that while Satan is at work on Halloween, doing his business, he's at work everyday and will suceed in doing more damage through my condemnation of someone else, than can be done by dressing a sweet little child up as pumpkin, lamb or Lightning McQueen.

I guess quite simply you could say that the 6th thing on my list of dislikes, is the fact that I find it appalling that there are so many who feel themselves so much holier than the rest, that they can sit and judge the world around them. (We all have our moments of weakness, where an opinion crosses the line into judgement, even me. But I'm not even going there right now) If you truly feels it's wrong, I respect that too but respect me, my space and my choices. Instead of being all "up in ma' face" take it up with the Big Guy (that'd be God, we've got an understanding, He knows I mean that with affection not disrespect). He can handle it, and He will.

So there you have it, the good, the bad and the fugly, by Ashley Stone. Happy Halloween everyone, be safe (and post photos) and most of all Happy 25th, 29th Birthday Mom! We love you!!!!

**If you chose to dress yourself and/or your children up this way. Please don't feel I am judging you but know if I see you I'll probably cringe and look away. It's nothing personal I'm just a wimp.**

Lists are Neat!*

Lists are neat! In fact, lists aren't even just neat they are necessary! In this house, in my world things don't work without a list, I don't function with out a list and nothing, I repeat nothing (or at least virtually nothing) gets done without a list. So, I write lists. I have a list for "To Do's", "Groceries", "Flyers", "People to Phone", "Christmas ideas", "Craft Ideas", "Blog Posts", "More Blog Posts"...and the list of lists goes on.

And today I had an epiphany. A real, life altering moment...if you take lists (because I ♥ them) and you take blogging (because I love it) and put them in a room together and tell them they can't come out until their friends what do you get.... a blog list! Yay!

What, do you do with a blog list you ask? Well, my friends let me just tell you. You write it up, you send it over to your friends at Mamapedia who have been asking you for a list and you wait. I did that and what happened, well this happened!

That's right, my list for Top Tips to Stretch your Budget has been posted at Mamapedia. Wahoo! Not only can I write a list, but I can share and gain knowledge with/from those around me.

♪Laaaaaa♪ The angels sang and all was right in the world, at least for a moment while I enjoy the listfulness.

So what should you do about this? Click on the link, go check out my list (which will be continually changing, growing), vote for your favorite idea and/or leave 1 or 20 of your own. Enjoy the wealth of knowledge that is to be had out there and share what gold there is being store between those ears of yours. It's sa-weeeeet and I love it. I betcha you will too!

*I may have used this title before but I can't find it nor remember so I'm using it again. Since I do not keep a blog post title list, this may happen again, consider yourself warned.*

Weebles Wobble

On Monday, my Audrey will turn 9 months old. That means that she's been out virtually as long as she was in (unless you are getting picky and then 40 weeks actually = 10 months but let's not get technical). The past 9 months have been a ride, a great ride. We've had our good times and our tough times but mostly we've enjoyed every second with this happy, sweet little girl.

Things seem to be going fast than they did with Bethany. Moments don't last as long, stages are hardly a blip and somewhere along the way it seems the baby in her is starting to fade and I don't know when that started. It might have something to do with the fact that this time around I have 2 precious princesses, both changing in leaps and bounds making their Momma feel old. Or it might have something to do with the fact that I am getting old.

Whatever it is, it is and I try, on a daily basis to remind myself to savour the moments. The ones like this one. You see, Audrey is growing quickly and while she's an ultra happy baby she's also one who knows what she likes. My Audrey Bella, don't just whimper if something doesn't go her way, no she'll let out a heartbreaking wail and then stop and wait patiently for you to comply with her demand.

The newest of the demands is that she wants to be on her feet. No more sitting or exersaucer for this kid. She wants to be standing, on the floor, on your lap, where ever. And while she can't quite figure it out on her own, she's getting pretty good if you hang onto her hands.

She's a little wobbly, but standing and walking are her new favorite deal. Last night, while in the middle of a whole house clean, we decided to take a break for a family dance time. It rivals Dancing with the Stars as you've seen on more than one occasion, and last night I managed to grab my camera and capture a little of Audrey's new skillz.

Weebles Wobble from Ashley Stone on Vimeo.

She was having so much fun, and so were we! It's so funny, every time I see her doing her "thang" it reminds me of the Weebles. Do you remember those guys? You know, "Weebles Wobble but they don't fall down". No? Ahem, like I said, OLD!

Anyways, hope you enjoyed and have a great weekend!

The Most Embarassing Moment

When I was in my teenage years I used to pour over the pages of Seventeen magazine.  I'd carefully read each article, trying to master the art of flirting, styling and restyling my uncooperative hair to match the latest trend and taking the quizes to messure my "Girlfriend Potential" (totally cheating to get a better score than was actually true).  I also may have secretly cut pictures of the "cutest" celebs and pasted them into a book that I recently found and had a good giggle over - I mean who didn't have a crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas? 

But my favorite part?  The article I read with enthusiasm and delight?  Was the "Most Embarassing Moments" section.  I took great pleasure in reading the plights and plunders of others.  Mostly because I aptly earned the name Magoo as a small child and clumsiness was second nature to me.  So for a few moment I was able to feel "normal".  Sad? Probably.  True?  Absolutely.  I would share those pages with my friends but other than the appropriate laugh I said nothing about my need to "relate" to the teens in that magazine.

What's funny now, is I can look back and see that everyone has embarassing moments.  While not everyone fell down the stairs of the cruiseship, breaking their shoe and landing on the back of the most popular guy in school - on prom night, we've all had our blunders.  And we all have our "most embarassing moment":

It was the summer of '97 and I was 13 going on 25.  We were at the Trans Canada Waterslides, my three "best" friends (or so you call them in high school) and I.  And though I was a pudgy, small breasted teen I had donned a bathing suit and 6 bottles of sunscreen ready to enjoy the day. (By the way that's almost not an exaggeration such is my fear of lobster skin)  Not only a bathing suit, a two piece, a bikini, something that left parts of my body other than  my feet, hands and face bare.  This was not only a rare occasion, at that point I believe it was a first.  It was also, a last.

The day was going great, we were getting in copious amounts off exercise hoffing it up the hill to the slides.  We had about 3 runs left before it was time to go and one of my friends and I decided it was time to try the blackhole.  You know the totally encase slide that's pitch black until you emerge at the end with a thunderous splash!  Did I mention 2 out of the 4 of us were males?  No?  Well, that's important.  For everyone's sake, and to prevent the result of a Google Search being this blog and this post lets call them Jonah, Peter and Faith.  (Those are so not their names but whatever.)

Anyways, Jonah and I headed for the blackhole, being that the day had gone so well and I was having so much fun I chose to go first.  Down I went, loving every second of the 15 second ride.  I hit the water with the afore mentioned splash and stood up with triumph.  This is where things went horribly wrong.

Across the pool deck I saw the faces of both Faith and Peter.  Horror doesn't even quite begin to describe it.  Peter takes off and mach speed and envelopes me in a huge bear hug, all the while mumbling something about my top.

After figuring out that he hadn't quite lost his mind I put together what he was saying and looked down.  Apparently during my 15 second ride my top had come undone and was now wound around my neck.  That's right folks my itty bitties were on display and what did I do?  I stood their like a moron, a huge grin on my face, completly oblivious to the fact that I now had less of a swimsuit on than I had started the ride with.

My day was ruined (it was also the last time I was on a waterslide).  I made a beeline for the blanket, where Jonah's Mom sat waiting, brushing tears from my face, refusing to even acknowledge the friends who'd rescued me.  Or should I said friend who rescued me.  See while Peter hopped on the chance to cover me and save me the tiniest bit of dignity (well, not really.  There wasn't much left in the way of dignity.  How could there be?  The whole water park had just seen me practically naked), the other 2 of my friends just stood there.  Either dumbstruck or mean.  Looking back I think one was mean and the other was a little bit of a dipstick, but oh well.

We went home, I cried to my Mother who's body shook with laughter (I'm so not kidding, and no Mom I haven't let that go) and carried on.

The moral of the story, I survived.  And, like everyone said I would, I look back now and laugh.  No it's not funny to be that girl, if it happened to one of my girls I probably would cry too not laugh but as time has worn on I can see the humour in the moment.  Can you imagine the look on my face?  Or the faces of the people around me? 

The point?  I dunno, thought you could use a laugh, this blog has been way to serious lately and we needed some lightening up.  Even if it meant I had to take my top off to do it!