Have you ever come across a word, phrase or action* that just irritates you? I'm not talking about obcentities, but plain, everyday things that drive you nuts? I started thinking about the things that annoy me today while picking up half chewed bits of Nutrios from my kitchen floor. I'm sure exactly why I was thinking of this then, but I was.
Phat - I know the "kids" of either today or yesterday (I'm not exactly sure, you see I was part of the yesterday kids but I wasn't really in the "IN" crowd so I was still walkin' around saying things like Talk to the hand and Awesome. Hmmmm, wait I still say awesome....) use it as a term for something that is good, cool or great but seriously. If someone were to tell me my dress was Phat he/she would find out that their lip could be Fat really easily.
Slow Drivers - I'm not talking about the people who are driving the speed limit, as technically they aren't slow, they're just abiding by the law. And while at times that may slow me up I should really be thanking them as it's probably preventing me from getting another ticket. No, I'm talking about the people who insist on driving 15km/h (no exaggeration) in a 60 km/h zone. It's as if they have a "Light and fluffy, like you could float away" Milkyway Chocolate bar for a foot. Let's compromise, I'll trade in my lead foot for some aluminum if you'll go to something a little more dark chocolate, Mr.Big Bar.
Boobs - Not the actual boobs (although I do suffer from lack there of envy, but that's a different post all together) but the word. It's so, well, unintelligent sounding. Not that the other words for them are much better but when I think of the word boob I think of someone who's well...uh, how do I say it nicely? A big goof. If you actually say the word while looking in the mirror you'll make yourself laugh, I promise. It's just that funny and annoying.
Whipped Cotton - It's the super soft and fluffy stuff that most precious looking baby toys and blankets are made of. It's like fleece but softer and some how almost sticky. I HATE that stuff! It makes me want to cry - touching it physically makes me want to cry. I dunno why, but I can't handle it. Anything dear Bethany has been given made of that fabric, which thankfully isn't much has been put away into a box for her when she is 25 and can open it and touching all by herself.
Diet pop - I know many of you who read this blog are Diet Coke hounds and that's ok. But to me it tastes as if someone has dumped a bit of bathroom solvent into my precious Coke. I love Coke, it's my favorite beverage next to water. I'm sure half the reason I love it so much is that it's packed with sugar - which is why I restrict myself to having it for a treat on weekends. If I were to drink the Diet stuff I'd have no restriction at all but I'm also pretty sure that my taste buds would be perminantly disabled. I just don't understand why the Coca Cola company insists on flavoring it with things so rotten tasting, can't they find a nicer substitute?
Artificial Toe Nails - This isn't a joke, they really do exist. If you've never seen them they look exactly like the gel nails you see on someone's fingers except on their toes and they are nasty. The 2 women I have seen with them had long nails on and they were dirty and kinda greenish looking and made me gag a little. Ewww, it's bad enough having summer feet all dry and cracked with sand under your normal nails but these looked more like breeding grounds for the latest and greatest bacteria. The one lady that had them had one snag on a bedsheet and it actually ripped her real toe nail out! No thank you!!!! If you have them and take better care of them than that then this isn't directed at you. But please, please don't ask me to look at them.
Snot - Snot in general is gross, I don't think there is anyone out there that will have it on their "Things I love " list but it's how it's handled that particularily drives me crazy. My tummy turns a little at people who wipe their noses on their sleeve, pick a booger while driving and then wipe it under their seat, or worse pick a booger and then expect me to shake their hand. Ummmm, thanks but I'd much rather you kept your green, boogery fingers to yourself and please, don't touch my baby either. When I have a runny nose I'm a walking kleenex machine, constantly blowing, and washing my hands. The odd sniff may escape but no snorting either. I like hockey but I'll leave "Horkin' a loogie" to the guys.
*This information is the opinion of the author only and is in no way shape or form directed at any one person. Well, except for the nose wiping on the sleeve, you know who you are.*
What are some of your pet peeves?