Thursday, September 9, 2010

Why teachers drink

A good friend of my Mom's sent this e-mail the other day that had the mood in our office lightening considerably.  Most often she ignores forwarded e-mails but this one she just happened to open, and I'm glad.

Now, I'm going to apologize because the full grandeur of this email is going to be lost in the fact that the email contains this information in the form of scanned copies of the kids' answers.  I however, am technologically challenged and can't get them to copy and paste here.  Since the hilarity of these is still relevant I'm going to be self sacrificing and spend the whole 15 minutes to transcribe them here, for you, so that you too can laugh until you let a squeaker out that is actually a stink bomb cry.

 You're welcome.

So, without further adieu, here is why teacher's drink

Q: Explain why phosphorus trichloride (PCl3) is polar?
A: Because God made it that way

Q: (Photo of a lady - Tracy, with a bubble containing a complicated math equation and answer) Explain why Tracy is wrong
 A: She's a woman

Q: Hard Water vs Soft Water worksheet: Briefly explain what hard water is.
A: Ice

Q: What was Sir Walter Raleigh famous for?
A: He is a noted figure in history because he invented cigarettes and started a craze for bicycles

Q: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?
A: Unusual Names

Q: Name on of the early Romans' greatest achievements
A: Learning to speak Latin

Q: Name one measure which can be put into place to avoid river flooding in times of extensive rainfall (eg. in Mississippi)
A: Flooding in areas such as the Mississippi may be avoided by placing a number of big dames into the river

Q: Name 6 animals which live specifically in the Arctic
A: Two Polar Bears, Three Four Seals

Q: How does Romeo's character develop throughout the play?
A: It doesn't, it's just self, self, self all the way through

Q: Name the wife of Orpheus, whom he attempted to save from the underworld.
A: Mrs. Orpheus

Q: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom

Q: What happens to a boy at puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his childhood and enters adultery

Q: What is the meaning of 'varicose'?
A: Close by

Q: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register?
A: Mariah Carey

Q: What is a fibula?
A: A little lie

Q: Joanna works in an office.  Her computer is a stand-alone system.  What is a stand alone computer system?
A: It doesn't come with a chair

Q: What is a vibration?
A: There are good vibrations and bad vibrations.  Good vibrations were discovered in the 1960's

Q: The race of people known as Malays come from which country?
A: Malaria

I hope you enjoyed these as much as I did.  It's a toss on my favourites between Joanna's stand alone system and a boy and puberty.  Oh and you can't forget putting bid dames into the river!

What's yours?  Better yet, do you have one to share that's not included? Happy Weekend, let me know if you're laughing with me or at me.

1 comment:

Kami's Khlopchyk said...

That was great! My favourite was the highest sound - Mariah Carey one.

Kids! They tell it like it is.