A Sweetpea Blooms

On just about any given day of the year if you were to ask me what I was doing exactly 1 year ago on that date, you would probably be greated with a blank stare. If you were to ask me what I was doing 5 years prior or 10 I may actually begin to froth at the mouth as the prospect of thinking that far back would cause my already over loaded brain to malfunction. On this day though, 1 year, 5 years, 30 years from now I'll smile, a tear may come to my eye and I'll happily tell you exactly what I was doing.

You see, 1 year ago today, I was praising the Lord for epiderals, thinking that the Kelowna General Hospital really should invest in an interior decorator and was waiting impatiently for the arrival of our baby. 1 year ago today, I was writhing in pain as a nurse instructed me to "Puuuuush!", I was angry at the doctor because he couldn't get the vacuum in right, whom if I could properly feel my legs I would have kicked in the head and I demanding from anyone who'd listen that they tell me what I had (although she wasn't quite out yet) even though I KNEW she was a girl. 1 year ago today, our lives changed forever, I fell a little more in love with my husband, I forgot what it was to be selfish and I learned that there is no greater feeling than holding your brand new baby for the first time. Bethany, this post is for you....

One year ago today baby girl, your Daddy and I got to meet you for the very first time. Well, let's say we got to hold you for the very first time, we already knew you. I knew that you loved to hang out on my bladder and play soccer just about the time it felt it was going to burst, I knew that you loved when the music was playing and I sang along, and I knew I'd waited waaay to long for you.

What I didn't know was how much I'd be in love with you. I loved you from the moment I read that 11th pregnancy test that said "+" which translates to pregnant, I loved you when I felt you kick the first time or heard your heart beat. But I didn't fall in love with you until I looked into that face. You have your Daddy's eyes, my nose and a smile that will melt an igloo. As the days have worn on you've gone from "amazing" us with your ability to swing at an object, to rolling over, from light babble to full blown laughter, from army crawls to taking your first steps and from only being able to communicate with tears to saying, "Hi Daaa" or "Mumumum".

You've gone from being my tiny helpless baby to my ever changing toddler. From breastfeeding to sippy cups and rice cereal to pickles. As each day passes and excitement comes with the new things you are learning my heart pangs with a little bit of sadness, I feel like I'm losing my baby. When people told me to hang on it goes fast, I never imagined it would go this fast. I never though that Mach 3 would feel like a snails pace compared to your changes. Some nights when I cuddle you to sleep I long for the days when you wouldn't stand for me to put you down for a nap, and yet I wouldn't want to waste these days either, because I know another change is just on the other side of a poopy diaper.

We are already so proud of who you are becoming, Bethany and we just pray that as you grow up, and our family changes, that we will raise you to be the woman God has called you to be. The dreams I have for you are so great and I wait each day to see what will become of them. You have my 'Tude I can tell, but somewhere in there is also your Daddy's tender heart, you've got my impatient nature but everyone who meets you can't help but exclaim "What a happy little girl!", and I know that must be her Daddy shining through. You've already kinda learned to hold hands when we pray and I am convinced that the babbles I hear coming from your room in the mornings are your converstations with Jesus, He's already such an active part of your life.

Oh dear, I could go on for days, you already knew that though didn't you? We love you Bethany Hope! Happy Birthday sweetheart. You'll always be our baby girl no matter how many years pass, thank you for coming 1 year ago today. I waited my whole life to have you come and change it.

Love, Mommy