Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Barfing errr, I mean Blushing Bride

A few of you asked what I meant the other day when I said I woke up on my wedding day smelling a little like barf , and that's when it hit me. I've told ya'll the wonderfully "romantic" way Corey and I met but not what things were like surrounding our wedding. Why? I'm not sure because really, truly the story is entertaining and a little nauseating but one I tend to tell from time to time, so here it goes.

As you all know, Corey and I met and got engaged fast, we also chose to get married quickly. Contrary to what many folks thought it wasn't because I was pregnant....which means, I didn't wake up smelling like barf because I was a prego (that's a little later in our whirlwind first year) but I'm getting ahead of myself. We chose to speed the process along because we both knew not felt, but knew that this was the life and the marriage that God had intended for us. So, why wait? I'm not patient, not even a little bit so why would I want to wait to start my life with this man. Why settle for going on dates and only making out in the back of movie theaters (something we've never done because ewwwww, they might be watching and the smell of popcorn really isn't a turn on) when we could be shacked up, the right way doing much more exciting things like - laundry....and stuff wink.

The week before our wedding was hectic as is the case for most engaged couples. Corey's mom had arrived from out of town, my Mom was up from Chilliwack, my cousin/bridesmaid had taken the week off work to be there to help us, Corey was finishing one job and preparing to start another one post wedding and I, well I was the idiot who chose to work until 2 days before her wedding. I was managing a Pharmasave (read: completely running it for incapable owners) and also preparing to open a new store, things couldn't have been more crazy. Not to mention the fact that I was trying to keep all the wedding details in order - amen for our family!

Now, this is enough to stress any normal person out, add that to the fact that I'm abnormal and seem to thrive on stress and you have the perfect recipe for a mental breakdown. You see, I'm the kinda girl who takes on waaaay too much, takes everything personally, works my tail off, throws myself into whatever I've committed too and seems to do wonderful at it. It's like stress is my High Octane and I'm just humming. Well, humming my way into disaster because you can only run an engine for so long without a little oil (or sleep), and I hadn't had much sleep in weeks. So, what does my body do? The same thing it always does when I've pushed too hard, I get sick.

That's right folks the day before I was set to walk down the aisle and officially become a Stoner, I came down with the stomach flu. But don't worry, I wasn't selfish, I shared and Corey and my cousin were sick too. I had been at my stagette the night before and came home feeling so loved, a little silly (I had boobs so big I literally couldn't see my feet - something that's never happened. My wedding dress had to have 3 sets of cups just to stay on...) and with a strange ache in my belly. That ache quickly turned into a very loud, long barfing session, followed by a little south of the border explosion a few minutes break so Corey could take his heaving turn and then repeat.

It was gross, smelly, sick, awful, gross again and probably the worst day ever! My poor Mom who was staying with us had to witness it all and also had to step into my shoes. Thanks to her and Corey's mom things kept on smoothly, all the dresses and tuxedos were at the church when we finally dragged ourselves out of bed (unshowered....blech!) and drove the hour drive to Summerland Baptist. I have never prayed so hard in my life that God throw Satan out of our bodies, and our home and into the gutters. I'm pretty sure He did that by making us puke him up one lettuce leaf (I had caesar salad) at a time.

We managed to survive the rehearsal, carrying buckets with us mind you but we made it. Those around us were sympathetic and a little grossed out by our stench, but they rallied and things looked like they were on track. I was even well enough to be baptised - something I'd wanted to do for awhile. I'd saved that moment to share as a surprise with my Dad, my brother and my Grandparents (everyone else got to share too they just knew it was coming). That cold water sure helps snap a girl outta the pre-wedding day pukes, at least for a little while.

By that time Corey was well enough to go for dinner with the guys and eat a little soup. He always bounces back faster than I do, which is great - for him! I went back to the hotel with my Mom, curled up in a bed and prayed that things would be better in the morning.

Sure enough, morning came, I opened my eyes and for the first time in about 24 hours I could sit up without feeling like the earth had just fallen off it's axis. I still was a little worse for ware but nothing a Booster Juice and some family love couldn't fix. That and I was beyond excited - I was marrying COREY!!!

Fast forward the day a little bit to our reception. Although slightly week, Corey and I managed to make it smoothly through the ceremony (except for my Uncle stepping on my dress and falling up the aisle) and pictures. We had just settled into the reception when a wave of dizziness over came me. The room started spinning again and I bolted to the washroom. I didn't throw up but I was begging my Mom, who as always knew something wasn't right and was hot on my tail, to please loosen the laces on my dress. Feeling as though I could breath better, back I went and did my best to put on a happy face. Two more trips to the bathroom, for more loosening and it was apparent I wasn't going to last much longer. We finished speeches, pulled the MC aside, explaining the situation and headed onto the floor for our first dance. This is where my world stood still...

Right in the middle of the first verse of "When you say nothing at all" by Alison Krauss I fainted in my husband's arms. I felt things start to tip but if any of you have blacked out before you know that just before you go there's not much you can do or say. And down I almost went. Poor Corey, had his arms around me and normally would've been able to get me to a chair. Today however, I was wearing a dress that weighed a ton and was poofy and he couldn't get me close enough. All I remember hearing is Corey hollering to my Dad, "Dad a little help here!!" and then a chair under my still tender tooshie.

I rested a second, and then stood for the dance with my Dad. Like heck was anything going to keep me from something I'd waited my whole life to amidst tears I danced with my Daddy and Corey with his Mom (and mine). I looked over my Dad's shoulder at Cor, and he was crying. It was in that moment I truly felt how much he loved me and knew, that puke or no puke, a ring of fire or a ring of roses we'd make it through.

The song ended, and we were surrounded by family. I don't remember all who, but I do remember my brother was there and he reached for me. Now you have to know that we were close as kids but nothing extraordinary and as we grew up because he's a boy and I'm a girl we grew apart. But there is nobody I love like I love him and all my doubts that he didn't love me back were squelched in that moment. He is the one who helped me walk to our honeymoon suite, Corey was on the other side but Dustin was there, supporting me like always and again I felt a tug on my heart. He probably would've stayed had my Mom not reminded him that it was a honeymoon suite, but as always, my family was there, right when I needed them.

Corey and I went on to have a relaxing and a little bizarre honeymoon (a story for another day) and recovered fully by the time we returned.

As time has gone on, we've told that story a number of times and quite often we get asked, "Don't you think all that was a sign?" and my answer is this;

You betcha I think it was a sign. It was a sign that I needed to slow down, and focus on a few things. We'd prayed right from the start that God be in control of our lives and our marriage but up until that very first heave I hadn't relinquished the steering wheel, He decided to take it back. We'd always said we'd trusted Him, but again I hadn't really shown Him that and again, He decided to force my hand. All our praying and pleading ended with the firm trust that by morning God would make sure everything was fine. After all, He'd put us together and He'd lead us this far, He wouldn't let us down now. We also had forgotten about each other. In the days and weeks that lead up to the wedding, we'd become so consumed with the other people coming, the flowers, the food, the dress (of course the dress!!!!) and so many other details we'd forgotten to take the time to be - just be, together. That's what we had the night the rest of our family was rockin' it up at our reception. Corey and I had the time to take a bath, talk and sleep. Just being close and feeling secure in our love and our new marriage.

Do I wish it'd had been different, well kinda. I'd have loved to dance the night away or visit with the family and friends from out of town. But I wouldn't trade it for the world, our marriage started out on the solid rock of Christ's faithfulness and who could ask for a better start than that?

Just before I went down...

The sea doo where it all began.


Anonymous said...

Oh Ash your such a strong Girl. I wished that all that had not happened for you, but I know for a fact that even that stuff could not stop my wedding day from being the best ever. I wanted to tell you that you said something at our reception and I really felt honored that our wedding is where you really got to have your dances with Corey. You said " I finally got my dances with my husband." It made my heart swell and my lips smile. Love you both and you are perfect for eachother.

Anonymous said...

Well, it took a lot of tissue to get through this one, but it was the greatest moment to see what God had brought together as one... Keep on writing, I have lots of kleenex....Love you guys, God bless, John and Mom

Kami said...

Oh my heavens, what horrible timing. I love that you are not bitter (I would be!) and that you treasure your wedding even though it wasn't perfect.

Your marriage though? That is definitely perfect. You have such a great 'tude. Don't change a thing dear Ashley!

Lisa said...

Oh, that made me tear up!!! You are a wonderful writer, but I feel the SAME way about my brothers. Even though they annoy me (a lot) I know they are always there for me.

We also danced our first dance to "You say it best" by Alison Krause.

And I'm a stress junky too. :D

mommyknows said...

Great post!

Kristina said...

Wow, you wrote that beautifully! Sounds like you have been through alot, but are still going strong.

Anonymous said...

Well... whew, I made it only a few tears. I remember that day, waking to two puking, very sick people. My heart ached... my tummy turned, but my love warmed me inside. They were both so sick yet so much in love. Running around, being Mom and trusting God had a plan was all the happenings between cleaning up a mess here or there. Every second I knew God had his hand in it and that when they said "in sickness and health" well they would know what that means. I have a picture of two very sick people sharing the exchange of a wedding gift... that was hard because I know in thier minds they pictured it differently than what it was. I am so thankful God has His hand in everything that life brings.. even puking. I love you dear ones... yes that is a few days I will never forget... Corey you still owe me a dance...we didn't get to finish. :) Love yas Mom / Grammy

Niki said...

What a great post! Not necessarily the wedding you would have planned, but oh, think of the great story!!!

Wish I would have been there to see you two get hitched!

rachel joy said...

Oh dear, what a story. Your perspective on the whole ordeal is refreshing.

Amanda said...

I think this is my favourite post you have ever written! Nicely done. You have both come through so much together.

Janice Vandyk said...

WOW now thats a wedding story!!

im glad it all worked out!

and thats good advice, slow down...