Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I'm pregnant, not Budda, ok?

What is it about a pregnant belly that makes people want to touch you? Is it the fact that there is a precious baby who I am growing inside by ever expanding belly? Is it that I resemble Budda and you are down on your luck? Is it that you desire to feel a kick? Because if that's what you want I can arrange it quite easily without you ever touching my stomach.

I mean you don't walk up to a guy with a beer belly and start cooing and rubbing his tummy. When I'm not pregnant nobody says, "Oh, look how cute you look! I just have to touch that post baby, wrinkly stomach!" and they certainly don't say, "Awww that's great that you've had a baby and your stomach looks like it did when you were 19, can I touch it?" So, what makes this so different?

I know there are many a pregnant gal who relish in the attention they receive because of their growing baby and subsiquent tummy. And while I thrilled with the coming arrival of our little one, I am not a big fan of being pregnant and definately not a fan of the tummy touch. There are many who are quite fine with folks rubbing, touching and talking to the beach ball that is our stomach but I am not one of them. In fact, even just thinking about it makes me cringe. I don't like to be touched, not before I was pregnant, not now, not in general....don't touch me m'kay?

Don't get me wrong I'm not some calloused cow who doesn't like hugs from family and friends. I live for the hugs and even tummy rubs from my precious daughter, and nothing feels better than being in my husband's arms. But strangers who like to touch your arm when they talk to you or when you meet someone for the first time and they want to hug you, aaaahhhh. And if you really want to get my goat, try to touch my back, I dare you. On more than one occasion it's resulted in an elbow jab to someone's ribs and once I even swung around hard enough that I plowed the said back rubber in the cheek. Not with the intention of an injury but rather an instinct.

I have a big comfort zone ok? So, um, stay out of it. I'm more than happy to chat with you across a table or stand next to you (but not so close that I run the risk of you smelling my breath...what if it stinks?) and once I know you better and we're pals I will, willingly accept or give a hug. But before then can you all just please respect my need for at least an arms length of space?

Unfortunately for those of you who are belly rubbers, or are my poor mother, I am not wavering on the fact that I DO NOT WANT MY BELLY TOUCHED. I know it's hard on my Mom, I'm her only daughter, this baby is her grandchild and she is longing for that connection with Rosebud now. But I can't help how I feel. She's pretty good about respecting what I want but every now and again she'll reach for the baby bump or lean down to say "Hello" and winds up receiving my hip as I turn or a very dirty look. I'd take a picture to show you said look but, well, I kinda like you reading my blog, I don't want to scare you off.

But if any of you can explain to me the great facination with pregnant tummies, go ahead. And to you pregos that enjoy it can I send all these people your way? (Except my Mom, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be the same for her) Oh, and "you people", you know who you are, please respect us, at least ask before you reach to touch our bellies. It's a curtousy, just like if you forget to ask, I will politely request that you remove your hand from my gut before I locate my fist in yours - deal?


Anonymous said...

Ashley, I laughed so hard when I read your post. Folks, ya gotta see her eyes when I try and put my hand on her "baby bump". Rosebud is hiding in there and I am sure just waiting for Grammy to say Hi, Reaally! lol You have the right to have your "space". I always encouraged you and Dustin to have a place that you were comfortable in. I respect the fact that you don't like me to touch your baby bump, (Rosebud's hideout). lol You have that right and don't let anyone tell you any different. I love you dear girl... be you!!! Sometimes I am just weak and have to talk to this new little one. Love you Honey!

Mom / Grammy

Melissa said...

I'm with you! I can't stand the belly rubbers. I had a strange lady do it to me in the elevator the other day. I think we should just do it back to those who do it to us. What do you think?

Daisy said...

You can hand them back the offending appendage and say, "Oh, pardon me, I think this belongs to you. I found it on my body."

Anonymous said...

I think that Daisy should get the award for the most creative response to a tummy rubber. ( I only want to touch my daughter's tummy by the way... :) ) Daisy I laughed so hard! Good one.

mommyknows said...

Hahaha ... I've never rubbed a pregnant tummy, well except my own. It didn't bug me when other people did it though. It happened rarely to me, and never a stranger. You must be irresistible!

Angella said...

Belly rubbers drove me CRAZY when I was pregnant :)