Thursday, September 17, 2009

When life's corn-y...

I used to live in the middle of a corn field, see

And now we don't, see,

Haha, fooled you. There's no picture because, well I didn't feel like taking one. One of the nice things about living where we do is that on 3 sides of our farm house are corn fields. They are hardly a hop skip and a jump away from our driveways and for the majority of the summer they keep our house (which is FULL of HUGE windows) very private.

The lousy part of that deal is that the farmers around here work stupid hours (who starts work with a NOISY machine at 8pm, keeping children and their parents from restful nights sleep?). They chopped down our corn one night, tilled up the soil the next and then, the only job I prefer they did in the middle of the night, they did in the morning - they spewed (or rather their machines did) poo everywhere. That's right, here in Smelliwack we have, what my Mom so fondly name -shit shooters. Cow poo flies in every direction leaving a "lovely aroma. Now I don't love the smell, nor does it make me gag, but come on guys, did you really have to do it while my clothes were on the line?

Anyways, the other hard part about living in the corn for me is the fact that I can't have it. I love corn on the cob, with lots of butter and salt. (This corn by the way is cow corn, sooo not for people, blech) I love nachos smothered in cheese, or those nachos with the fake cheese sauce you can get at a hockey game, Doritos, marshmallows, ranch salad dressing, Rice Crispy Square! Ohhh, I love them all. The problem, they all share a common friend - corn. And corn is not my friend. In fact, I am seriously allergic to it and I haven't had the above mentioned things in years.

The last time I had popcorn was 13 years ago (gasp!). It is absolutely a matter of my health to avoid eating it. I'd give you all the gory, disgusting details but it's unpleasant, so I won't. Anyways, I had driving through our small town or pulling in our driveway knowing the beautiful corn I see everywhere can go in everyone's stomach but mine. I hate reading labels on EVERYTHING because you'd fall off your horse to know what's got corn in it. um hello, Italian Seasoning are you kidding me?!

Anyways, it sucks. I'm complaining, sorry. I don't mention it often and although I need to cautious on what I eat I don't usually make an issue out of it. But from time to time a grumble is needed.

Anyone else out there living with "The Corn" allergy? Any good recipes or advice? How about anyone with any other strange allergies, care to vent and share your tale of whoa?

1 comment:

Kami's Khlopchyk said...

That would seriously suck. SERIOUSLY. No nacho's? ACK. And italian seasoning, c'mon!

I will never take my corn intake for granted again!