Friday, January 8, 2010

It's a good thing you're cute

Over the past few years I have done my best to refrain from complaining about my children.  One because in all honesty they truly give me very little to complain about and two because one day they are going to read this (if I ever get off my tushie and get that book printed) and I don't want them to think that on the days when I was having a tough time coping I didn't love them, fore that is simply not true.  I guess, I also am very warey of complaining because I am so blessed.  I have my children, they aren't terminally ill, mentally/physically challenged or worse yet dead.  We have food, clothes and the basic neccessities, more actually, than we need.

But today, is one of those days perspective has gone down the crapper, I'm frustrated and it's spilling over here.  It's like this, see...

Bethany: is 3!  A whole big whopping 3.  It's amazing and frightening all at once, if the past 3 years have gone so fast what about the next and the ones after that, and after that?  And when I finished playing that endless game I was about 145 and she was well,  younger than that.  I've loved these past 3 years and look forward to all the ones that are to come.  Each stage has held it's challenges but the rewards are truly greater than all the frustrations bundled together.

Except today.  She's in a foul mood.  Something like I'd imagine a rotten tomato feels when it notices the gigantic mold spot on his back.  In her defense it's been a very busy holiday season, full of company and parties, extra treats and even more attention.  We are now back into the swing of life and that means settling into a routine where little girls are required to entertain themselves for 5.3 seconds while Mommy goes pee!  Or changes a diaper or something requiring food.  Which is being prepared to sustain said little girl. 

I can understand it's hard to not always be the center of someone's attention.  And then there is the fact that she's been sick, we've all had colds and yesterday she had a small fever.  She seems on the mend but those colds and the lack of sleep caused by who knows what (ya she's been waking in the middle of the night since she was tiny.  And while we get some nights where she doesn't, we still have many that she does.  It's not usually for long but still, the interruption doesn't help.  Add to that she's decided to crawl in with me everytime she wakes and you've got a recipe for DISASTER.  We're workin' on it) are all factors.

And don't even ask me about potty training.  I'm serious - don't ask!

So you put all that together and you can imagine an slightly grumpy toddler right?  Sure, fine I'll deal.  But she's gone way past "slightly" grumpy and has now embodied a personality that makes that dwarf Grumpy look like Gwenda the good witch. 

She had a temper tantrum this morning that rivalled anything we've delt with in the past.  And while we survived (and when I say we I mean, I left her on the floor in safe spot and went to slam around my washing machine for a few minutes while she got a grip, ok maybe I needed to get a grip as much as she did, hence the decision to walk away.  And such was the frustration boiling in my soul I actually checked the mirror to see if steam were pouring from my ears) I loaded her in the car and she went from sobbing still to complete calm...

 "Mommy, why is Daddy's truck broken?"

"Because it's an enourmous pile of crap!  just broken ok?! And are you serious with all this sweet voice, nice conversation stuff?! I'm glad you're in a better mood now."

The mention of the word mood then turned on the water works once again and she cried half the way uptown.  Until of course she realized we crossed a train track and knew I wouldn't answer her whining voice while she ask 410 questions on why the train wasn't on the track.  SO back to sweet sounds so she'd get her answers.


Now for Audrey.  She's on the verge.  The verge of about 10 different things.  In the past 2 days she's figured out how to scootch.  She crawl/drags herself around the house getting into things because she can.  And while that's a little frustrating I know it's part of the process.  It's just that she's got this defeatist attitude. She'll try once or twice and the give up and sit there are sob.

Audrey doesn't cry like Bethy did, when she was frustrated.  No matter what happens, she's mad, she's hurt, she's hungry Audrey cries the same, heartbreaking cry.  And be it a tough Mama thing or not, sometimes when it has nothing more to do than she's mad that I've sat her down from walking for a few minutes because I'm practically cripple from walking all bent up, and if I don't straighten out soon people are going to think I've got a deteriorating backbone or something, I just let her have her cry.   It's that or try to argue with an almost 1 year old and we all know that's about as pointless as talking to man during a sporting event.

And that's the other thing.  She's so close to walking but where most kids walk hanging onto furniture or like to walk with those walking toys, Audrey gets frustrated.  If she's not hanging onto your hands she will sit down (even if she's completely stable hanging onto something) and bawl.  She's scared I get that and I try to encourage her, but she's going to have to figure something out, she can't walk holding my hand forever.

Yesterday was her day, she was in a foul mood.  Crying everytime I didn't sit where she wanted me too - on the floor, walk with her or take her to a room she wanted.  She didn't want any toy I offered her, snacks were ok but soon she'd chuck them on the floor.

By the time they went to sleep last night I was ready to rip my eyeballs out.  I have a feeling tonight may not be much different.

Our days aren't usually like this.  In fact, these past few days are rare around here, completely rare.  Which is probably why I'm having a hard time coping.  It's been so hairy around here for so long, and I've got the same cold they do, all in all we're lacking patience altogether. 

So if you see me walking around with patches of hair missing don't ask.  It's just been one of those days and almost seriously (but not completly I'm a little vain for it) it feels like ripping my hair out would be more productive than trying to console/reason with these two.

These past few days have made me understand and even embody the following phrases, "You're lucky I love you", "It's a good thing you're cute", "You're gonna drive me to drink" and of course "Oyi"!


Anonymous said...

You have my sympathy Ashley. Even as an oldie, I remember that potpourri of love and frustration so clearly. If it's any help, way back when our son was in kindergarten and experimenting with whining, we were lucky enough to have a parenting expert give a course at the school. She told us that kids get to know what response they can get from their parents so to occasionally give the child a totally unpredictable response. Next time Corey whined, instead of my usual stern words of correction, I stood in front of him and sang "On the Good Ship Lollipop" and did a little tap dance, then walked away. Took a while for him to lose the astounded look and to close his mouth but he quit whining. It became a challenge of thinking up about three more odd but harmless reactions before he decided that there wasn't a satisfactory pay-off anymore. And it was fun to boot. Warning: if you try this at home don't be too good at it because the children might start eliciting your new reactions just for entertainment. ;-)
Love, Auntie Sue

Kami's Khlopchyk said...

I have been there. Those days were not so rare for us, they were more like the norm, though I do like to focus on the negative so looking back my judgement might be skewed.

As my boys have gotten older, that kind of day has become fewer and further between.

And my hair is starting to come back. In patches.

:) And venting here is a great idea becuase when you are old (er) and look back, you will remember the reality of it, not the polished up version we all tend to write about.