Monday, March 22, 2010

Spam in a Can

A few weeks ago we received a bizarre phone message on Corey's cellphone.  It was a call from somebody at Shaw because they were concerned about our internet security.
At first, I figured it was a prank call, we never give out Corey as a contact for those sorts of things, I'm home all the time, the bills, connections and other things are my end of this deal we have here, so why would they call him.  However, I couldn't shake the feeling that something might be wrong and I needed to get in touch with them.

So, I ignored the number on the message, looked up the real Shaw's phone number and gave it a call.  After 15 mintues of waiting and I was told that I had called the Vancouver call station and because I live in Chilliwack I would need to call Kelonwa, to which I thought WTH? But whatever, I'll call whomever you want, just give me an answer.

More hold, accompanied my lamo music (aside: who picks that stuff?  Does anyone actually like it or are you trying to put me in a bad mood before I talk to you?) I get a guy, who says that it was in fact them that called and someone is Spamming from our IP address.  Again, I thought WTH?

Here is how the conversation went:

Shaw Dude (who will now be refered to as SD): "Mrs. Stone it appears that someone has infected your computer with a Trojan Virus and is sending Spam from your IP address.  They are sending out Viagra Spam and  I'm assuming it's not you.  It's not you is it?"

What I said:"No, it's not me.  How do they do that?"
What I thought: "No SD it's not me!  Why?  Are you looking for some?"  I was also thinking that it's ironic that it's called a Trojan virus and they're sending out Viagra know Trojan Condoms...ahem

SD: "You probably opened as attachement that held the virus.  Did you open any spam recently?"

What I said:"No, I just delete it.  Shouldn't my virus protection have prevented that from happening?"

SD:"Well ma'am (in that moment I almost hung up)these Trojan's can get past almost any virus protection.  You'll need to run a diagnostic to search specifically for Trojans and try to get rid of them.  If that doesn't work you'll want to get it checked"

What I Said:"Thanks so much for letting us know!  I'll follow your e-mailed instructions and then take it in if it's not resolved"

What I thought:"Ya SD, I did open spam.  I am seriously trying to increase my bust size in 45 seconds and I thought that Hot XXX was a new Vin Diesel Movie.  Of course I didn't open any!  Do I look like and idiot?! (Don't answer that, Do not, answer that).  And while we're talking here, do you not see even the double irony in the fact that Trojans can by pass safeties?  I mean the other Trojans are only 99.9% accurate"

 And, while my thoughts ran in the gutter, and came out dripping with sarcasm, I had an informative conversation with SD and hopefully have managed to irradicate the worst of the problem.  I'm still not sure if I did, but we'll see.

The thing is, I'm peeved.  I payed for a good, up to date Virus protection program.  I don't open unknown e-mails and attatchments.  Corey's on the computer like 2 a year so it's not him.  How did this sneak past us and who does this?  Really, ever thought about who actually sends the spam?

I have decided that the jerk (who can only be male) is a guy for whom Viagra did not work, and now he's angry, alone and has and excess supply he's eager to be rid of (this is very similiarily worded to a comment I left on Kami's site, because after she vented about her Spammers I wanted to vent about mine.)

To top it all off, the part that get's me the most is that I don't like Spam in a Can so why would I like Spam on the screen?

Anybody else have spamming issues?


Kami's Khlopchyk said...

So it was you sending me those Viagra comments then?! ;) Kidding. I wish the people who waste hours doing this ridiculous stuff would focus their energy into more productive things. Just think where the world would be!

Ps. I LOVE your sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

You are too funny dear!!!
Hummm is it you that has been sending me penial enhancements.... hahaha biting my tongue... ohhh biting my tongue hahahah

Love you Honey

kim @ said...

A lot of trojan type virus's come from the internet.

Have you ever had a window open up and when you try to click on the little close button it just keeps popping back up?

Well the x button isn't a close button, but an install button.

To close those you need to 'ctrl, alt, delete' then go to the task manager and then applications and then shut that window down.

Otherwise they hijack your computer and use it to send spam.

I have come to the conclusion that there must be an awful lot of small, performance-challenged penis's out there. They wouldn't keep sending out the emails if someone wasn't opening them :)

Anonymous said...

hahahaha Kim that is funny!!!!
I didn't know that about the X button. Will remember that!

Great info.