A few evenings ago Corey and I sat down to watch some "quality" TV together. After channel surfing for about half an hour and complaining about the lack of anything to watch we settled on "Samantha Who?". It's a new comedy on that is all about a woman in her mid to late 20's who has lost her memory. She is gradually finding out things about her past and herself from her friends, her family and little blerbs that pop into her head. She had us laughing in a matter of minutes when she put a can of food in the microwave to heat and it caught fire but also had us a little sad at the vast emptiness of her life - it was blank. I highly recommend catching it sometime for the laugh and also for the thoughts that will come along with it.
What would I do if I lost my memory? Hmmmm, sometimes I think it would be great. I'd love to forget that time I was at the waterslides with a couple of guy friends who convinced me to go down the Black Hole tunnel slide. When I emerged at the other end I jumped up excited I'd made it through, grinning like a fool only to have one of the nicer of the guys come bolting over to inform me that my bathing suit top had rolled up around my neck. Yup that's right I was a bare chested embarassed 14 year old girl ready to climb back up the tunnel I'd just come out of. I also would like to forget that time at a hockey game, while running up a flight of concrete stairs I slipped, fell forward, my hands going out in front of me to break the fall and landed them directly on the breast of the female security guard at the top of the stairs. Again, I was ready to crawl into the deepest, darkest hole available. The girls I was with reminded me of that day quite often for a long time. I'd happily forget the time I backed into Corey's truck or all of my other less than wise mistakes. Maybe amnesia isn't so bad after all.
Then I got to thinking about the other things I'd have to forget. I'd have to forget the first time Corey kissed me, or the feeling of knowing he was The One. I'd forget the love I had the first time I looked at Bethany, or heard her laugh or what it feels like to rock her to sleep. I'd forget that my Mom is my best friend and that we get along great but can argue with the best of them. I wouldn't know that my Dad is my hockey pal and that almost every year on our annual Christmas shopping trip it snows. I would have to relearn that my brother hates to be called "Squirt" and loves my macaroni salad. No number of pictures could give me the warm feeling I have when I remember the night my brother was brought home from the hospital, I sat on the stairs hidden in the dark watching him be rocked to sleep. And who would tell me that although my stubborn streak drives my family crazy it has saved my biscuit more times that I can count. Who'd tell me that I suck at hide and seak because I'm just to impatient to wait for someone to find me and that the only way I win a computer card game is by clicking the cheat button? What would happen to my 'tude, would it reset or be changed forever?
I decided that I'll remember the things that I'd like to erase, so that I can hang on to the things I can't stand to forget. For now I'll be content with the fact that the past is the past, two piece bathings suits aren't a good water slide choice and one should NEVER run up the stairs at a hockey game. Because with each new good memory the bad ones fade a little more.
What would you like to forget and what other things are your precious memories?