Saturday, May 17, 2008

Life is just too short...

I'm reading this book, "Lifes too short to fold your underwear" by Patricia Lorenz and it's hilarious! I am one of those lucky gals who's husband is sweet enough to let her have a leisurly bath once a week (15 minutes of bliss before a little munchkin start's banging on the door "hi, Hi, HIIIII") so I can escape into another place an time...even if only for a little while. I used to read a book this size in two hours, now however there are a few things that prevent those marathon reading sessions (Corey and Bethany maybe?) but I sure do love these baths and those other worlds.

To be completely honest most times I'm glued to a fictional, steamy romance or chilling romance thriller, and sometimes even a romantic comedy....see the common theme? Every so often though I find a book that is of the non-fiction variety that peaks my interest and I have a gander. The last really good book like that I read was Sportin' a 'Tude. This book reminds me of that one. Not because it has a whole bunch good advice on how to tame my "sweet and mild attitude", but rather because it has some really wholesome advice and insight into our lives, who we are as people, followers of Jesus and the choices we make. She talks a lot about things that life is just too short for...worrying about money, working too hard, stressing over housework ( I never do that....ok, well only when people might see it...I wouldn't want them to think Corey has a lazy wife....see why I chose this book?) and other things like that that each of us spend far too much time on instead of enjoying the sound of our children's laughter, the warmth of our spouses embrace or the bliss of taking a walk with a friend instead of taking a jaunt around our house with a feather duster. Each of her "Life's too Short" chapters is filled with a touch of advice and a story or funny anicdote, I want to share this one with you.

For you ladies out there you know what I'm talking about when I say that sometimes the men in our lives are so blasted confusing! They'd rather drive their trucks through a boggy, yucky mud whole than feel the pure bliss that is a pedicure. Their idea of the perfect Saturday is spent diggin' around under the hood of whatever beast of a vehicle they are currently "in love with" trying to perfect her timing, tweak that exaust so it's a little louder or something more technical that I really don't understand at all. And please don't get me started on the timing that I do understand - my husband's idea of time differs greatly from mine, and that of the rest of the world. He get's so focused on what he's doing his watch must stop and he forgets that he was going to be home in a hour - 2 hours later there's Corey. (side note: He does always phone after he realizes he's late!) Patricia gives a classic example of the difference between men and women, one that I thought you'd all particularily enjoy this time of year and get a good laugh out of. She's talking about "Life's too short to try to understand Men"...

" I like men a lot, but quite simply, I don't understand them. For instance, let's take one simple little autumn activity. Getting rid of leaves. Here's how I do it: I turn on my mulcher mover, mow the yard and pulverize the leaves into smithereens, providing natural fertilizer for the grass. Then I return the mover to the garage and enjoy a good book.
I've observed many men, including my dad, brother, brother-in-laws, uncles, cousins, neighbors, and friends, in their annual effort to get rid of leaves. Here is a condensed version of how the men I know complete the project: First they buy a full-sized John Deere tractor with an eight-foot blade for grass cutting only. Then they buy a rider mower for tight spaces and a regular lawn mover for really tight spaces. Then they fabricate a huge round leaf blower that also sucks up leaves and attach it to the rider mower. Thier next purchase is a wagon to pull behind the rider mower to catch the leaves from the blower. They drive around the yard on the rider mover sucking up leaves and bowing them into the huge wagon.
Next they dump the leaves in the corner of the yeard and bag them into huge plastic bags, after which they distribute them to various trees and shrubs for mulch. When a giant wind blows them all over the yard again, they repeat the four previous steps. Then they climb on their full-sized John Deere tractor after attaching a new front-end loader so they can lift the bags of leaves to another part of the yard, behind the shed, so the neighbors can't see them. Then, using the front-end loader, they bring the bags of leaves to the garage area where a new fifteen-hundred-dollar sitck-and-leaf mulcher machine now resides...a machine that puts out eighty-five thousand decibels of noise with each operation. They take the leaves out of the bags and carefully dump them into the new fifteen-hundred-dollar stick-and-leaf mulcher contraption. Finally they take the mulched-up leaves and dump them into the new spreader attached to the full-sized John Deere tractor and distribute them evenly around the yard to provide natural fertilizer."
An exerpt from Patricia Lorenz's "Life's too Short to Fold your Underwear."

When I read this I laughed out loud, enough that I had Corey's interest peaked and I read him the story...all he could do was grin. If we had the yard, if his wife wasn't a money miser and if I wasn't watching that's exactly what Corey would do. And you know I'd love him for it!

Even though I can't figure the men in my life out, I certainly couldn't figure my life out without them. I like girls, I even love having a little girl, that doesn't mean however that I could handle a totally female world - in all actually I'm learning through Bethany that I don't have any better grip on how girls work, than I do on how boys work. My husband, my Father, my brother, my brothers in-law, my fathers in-law and one very special Uncle have all taken a part in making me who I am today, or are in the process of adding some very unique color to a life that without them would be very bland.

Happy Long Weekend everyone, hope that made you laugh!


Anonymous said...

It for sure made me laugh. There is more truth to that about Daddy than I can say. I love him dearly and I am so thankful that even though sometimes there are shorter ways of doing things that he always does an amazing job at whatever he does. Love you guys... had a great weekend. Love Grammy / Mom

Anonymous said...

That is such an awsome story, and I sure agree, not that John would go and buy all the equipment, but he would take all the details and one step at a time all day. It would be done most wonderfully though, so I believe we are so blessed to have these wonderfull men in our lives as God so puts them there... God bless you, love Mom Kimmie