Thursday, March 18, 2010

Table for Two

4 years ago today, Corey and I were doing something very memorable.  4 years ago yesterday, we were doing something almost more memorable, almost.  Those 2 days were a whoorl wind of barf bucks, emergency laundry loads, make up, mints, toothpaste, Booster Juice and white dresses.  Tuxes that didn't fit, stomaches that held very little more than the jitter butterflies and friends who'd come from far and wide to support our day.

We were married.  Somedays, it seems hard to believe that it was 4 years ago, some days it feels as though it was yesterday.  Otherdays, I look across the table at my husband and think, "I can't imagine a time in my life when he wasn't here"

I've told the tail of our wedding day and the days that lead up to it, in short, it was a roller coaster ride.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that God lead those days.  The He took the reins when I was no longer willing to reliquish control and that it is because of Him, we made it to the church, down the aisle and 4 years in.

It's been one heck of a four years for us, so many changes have happened.  Each one, whether good or bad have shaped the marriage we have.  The molded our relationship together and the ones we have with our children.  And while there are days when I'd like to clobber him upside the head with a frying pan (because it can't be all roses, all of the time) they really are few and far between.

God couldn't have given me a better man.  I never could have ever asked for a better friend, a better father for our children or a better life partner.  I think sometimes (yes, it does happen) back to the "husband" I dreamed of before Corey came along.  And ya know what, it's not Corey at all.  My dreams pale in comparisson to the man I have been given.  It is one of the many times in life where I truly have to say "Hat's off Big Guy, you totally knew better than I, what I needed, who I needed"

The past year has held it's own challenges for us.  Adjusting life to having 2 kids, then the adjustments of Corey changing jobs a few times, the struggles that finances inevitably bring to the table of a marriage.  But whether the days are good, whether the moods are good, or I'm sporting a 'Tude of gigantic proportions, Corey makes me feel loved.  Even when he's snappy and I'm pouty, I never have felt more loved by any one person (who isn't my parent) than I do my the man I call  my husband.  And I hope, with all my heart that he feels that same love radiating back, because I do, love him, with every breath I take. 

My mother in law gave us something back when we first got engaged that has held a special place in our living rooms over the past 4 years.  It's something that touched my heart when we were given it but moves my soul as I look back and read it.  It's a tiny glimpse into what marriage can be.  It's not always easy, I've watched many marriages over my 26 years here on earth, struggle and fail, some struggle and win  but the common denomonator is we all struggle.  It's life, it's lessons and it is why, when we can we need to hang on to the moments that mattered, the One who brought us together and look forward to the days that will come, when the clouds aren't so dark and the sunshine is bright.  But for now I invite you to take a seat (metaphorically speaking) and sneak a peak at our Table for Two

Table for Two
Matthew 19:5,6

Marriage is having someone to curl up against when the world seems cold and life uncertain.  It is having someone who is as concerned as you are when the children are sick.  It is having a hand that keeps checking your forehead for fever when you're not well.  To be married is to have someon's shoulder to cry on as they lower your parent's body into the gournd.  It is wrapping wrinkled knees in warm blankets and giggling without teeth!

To the person you marry, you are saying, "When my time comes to leave this world, and the chilly wind of eternity blows away my birthdays and my future stand cold and dark in the night, it's your face I want to kiss good-bye.  It is your hand I want to squeeze as I slip from time into eternity.  As the curtain closes on all I have attempted to do and be, I want to look into your eyes and see that I mattered.  Not what I looked like.  Not what I did or how much money I made.  Not how talented I was.  I want to look into the teary eyes of someone who loves me and see - I mattered!

Like a suede jacket, the imperfection of your marriage adds to its uniqueness.  It is a mizing of good days, sad days and all the challenges of life.  A truly good relationship is a spicy meal served on a shaky table, filled with dreams and pain and tender moments.  Moments that in those split second flashbacks, make you smile secret smiles in the middle of the day.  Moments so strong they never die, yet so fragile they vanish like bubbles in a glass.

Cherish the moments.  Lift the glass and drink deeply of life.  If you can look back and carch a few of those moments, or trace a smile back to a memory you are blessed!  You could hav ebeen anywhere doing anything, but instead the Maitre d'seated you at a table for two!

Happy Anniversary Corey Bear!  The appetizers were good, the main course is on it's way and a dessert looks heavenly!

Thanks for a great 4 years, I can't wait to see what the next 80 will bring, I love you!


Kimmies said...

Dearest Corey & Ashley,
May you be abundantly blessed, this day and always. we wish you the very most blessed Anniversary, today and may you have many more. I hope all of this is spelled correctly, as it is written in tears of love and joy for you all. God bless you.
Love John & Mom

The Smith's said...

Happy Anniversary! I totally thought that you guys had been married far longer than 4 years... I'm not far behind you. It will be 3 years in November for us. Have a lovely evening celebrating!