Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Telemarketer Advice

I understand that telemarketers are only doing their job.  I can empathize that you need to eat, your family needs a roof over their heads and this may have been your only choice.  Heck, I even understand sales and that being persuasive can sometimes mean the difference between getting or losing a sale. 

What I don't understand is this:  if you struggle with english, either you're still learning the language or your accent is so heavy I'm pretty sure your call center is located in the middle of somewhere across the ocean, why are you doing this job?  I can only imagine it's as frustrating for you as it is for me to have to be ask 50 times in 10 minutes "Sorry, what was that?"  Maybe you'd be better suited to something else. 

Next if you're a class A jerk, or plan to throw an attitude at me, maybe you'd be better off scrubbing toilets with your toothbrush.  The wrath of what I can throw is not something I think you want to face.

So here's what happened....

We've been away for 10 days on holidays (I'll update on that soon) and when I got home, I checked out the Caller ID.  Yes, yes I check my CID, I need to know who loves me and who doesn't.  Anyways, there was a Telus number on there 6 times.  Hmmmm, we're Shaw users after THIS event, what the heck would they want.  I kinda shrugged it off and waited to see what would happen. 

Monday they called back 3 times but there was only ever crackle on the other end.  I chalked it up to the brilliant service Telus gives, and hung up the phone.  Then yesterday they called 2 times while the kids and I were at work and then once again at 7:30pm while we were trying to get the kids into bed.  Here's how the conversation went...

Me: Hello?
Telus Lackie (TL): Looong pause "Hello?  Is this the person who is to buy the phone service?  I mean is this the uh, Mr or Mrs. Ashley and Corey Stone?"
Me: "Yes, this is Ashley Stone"
TL:" Hello Mrs. Stone, I'm ____________(name I couldn't make out) calling you from Telus (my brain slowly enters energy saving mode) to tell you about a service bundle we're offering with phone, Tv and Internet, I need to know who you get your service with presently since it NOT Telus Just so you know, they are recording this call"
Me: "We use Shaw, and Telus doesn't offer Internet here so I'm really not interested in your bundle.  I'll just save you some time and ask you now to please remove me from your call list."
TL: "I understand that ma'am (mental throwing darts at TL - Ma'am!) but this is an excellent package, I know you might be busy now but just listen me and I say to you want the bundle is"
Me: pulling out the annoyed Mommy Voice "thanks but I'm really not interested in the bundle, please remove me from your call list.  This is a bad time I need to go and put my kids to bed"
TL: "If you would just STOP TALKING I can read you this script and then I may take you off the phone list.  The bundle...."
Me: "I won't stop talking.  I told you I'm not interested, you don't even offer internet here so I'm not interested in your bundle.  Now since you're recording this call then you can record that I've been polite, I've asked nicely, NOW remove my name from the list and don't call me again.  Have a nice day"
"Accidentally" dropped the phone before hanging up.

Dude, it's your job to call and offer me a service, I get that.  I even blame Telus for being a bunch of crack pots for asking you to call a person who lives in an area (which you would know since you have my phone number and my address is listed) that their services are not provided.  But you don't need to be ignorant.  If you would have shut your mumbling trap for 30 seconds and listened you'd have understood and could have moved on to your next victim.  Now, all you've done is managed to earn your way onto my top 30 people I hope get hit by bird poo, right next to the spammer who hacked my e-mail and the maker of the Trojan virus that overtook my computer.  It's a shitty place to be, trust me.

We have a pretty heavy, be polite to Telemarketers rule around here because of paragraph 1 (I'm too lazy to re-write it), but tonight I broke the rule.  When they're not going to listen to reason and patience, I'm pulling out the big guns, loading the barrel and firing a who wad of teenage attitude your way.

What about you?  How do you handle Telemarketers?  Are you a nice Nancy?  Or a Nasty Norman?


Kami's Khlopchyk said...

I pretty much avoid telemarketers at all costs because I am not nice to them. I don't think that is right but they just annoy me all the way around with their pushiness so it's best if I don't speak to them at all.

And good gravy on that call you described. Are you kidding me? That right there is why I loathe all forms of solicitation.

kim @ mommyknows said...

Err ... I hate Telus.

I think they do have internet, but that's not really the point is it?

I'd rather send messages in morse code than deal with Telus.

Andrea said...

I hate telemarkers. I don't ever buy anything on the phone, I don't ever change my plan because of a phone call. I find it annoying and disruptive and would much prefer a personal email or letter.