Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Because here's not a bad place to be

Remember how awhile back I was complaining that we live in Chilliwack and sometimes I wished we lived in the Okanagan ? How I missed the weather, the lake, the people. While all of that is true, I also love living here in The Wack.

Yes, it stinks a good portion of the year, and it's a bold faced lie to say that you get used to it and don't smell it after awhile. You always smell it, you just choose to let it bother you or to get over it. And it does rain a lot, which I actually really enjoy, it not only keeps my kidlet happy with puddles but it also means that we have a really green part of the province. We are also only an hour from the ocean if we want and a little more than that to the Metropolis of Metrotown in Vancouver. Which is super shopping if you can maneuver your way around and then find your car again when you're finished (so far Cor and I have been there 3 times and each time have temporarily lost our minds and our car). And who can forget that Ikea is down this way too! Whoot for Ikea! Anyone wanna go shopping and see their new 2010 stuff? No? Ok, I'll suffer it alone.

Anyways I digress. Chilliwack really isn't so bad, all that other stuff aside it also holds my Mom and Dad. Something that I've felt guilty for, for a long time. I've felt bad that I enjoy being close to them because my being close in proximity to them means that Corey, is not close to his family, who are equally loved and needed.

We didn't move here because of or for my Mom and Dad. God brought us here, he provided a job for Corey and with the co-operation of my parents provided a job for me that means I can bring my kids to work with me each day and not have to leave them in the care of someone else. Something that's amazing for us, a blessing and a challenge in itself.

But in doing that God also called us to leave behind some pretty special people. Ones that are missed very often and thought of more but it's what has to be for now. And as much as we miss them, we also love who we are here with. Grammy and Papa mean the world to our girls and for that I'm glad. I always wished that I lived closer to my grandparents growing up. So to see my children with my parents, their grandparents leaves a warm spot in my heart.

I wish we could have all our family closer, I wish that they could spend more time with the other grandparents to develop those bonds but for now, that isn't our reality. And what's more, it isn't the reality for those grandparents either because just like we can't pack our bags and move where they are, they in return can't pack theirs and move here.

I have spent 2 years feeling like I need to aplogize for that. That it's somehow my fault that we can't all be closer. That by missing my Mom and Dad when we lived in Kelowna somehow caused God to change His plans and move us this way. I know that's not true, but what can I say, I'm a guilt carrier. I am also a class A worry wart.

In the past few months I've come to a conclusion. I don't have a stinkin' thing to be sorry for or feel guilty about. This is where we are right now. This is where both Corey and I know God brought us after months and months of desperate pleas and prayers for a solution to our financial situation. This is where for the most part we are happy, our kids are happy, our lives are as simple as life with two kids can be and for that I'm glad.

No, I'm not just glad, I'm rejoicing. God is good!

Please don't think that by saying that I'm implying that we don't miss Scott, Chelsea and Chloe, Travis and Wyatt, Grandma and Grandpa Hobbs, John and Jackie or Bert and Sue. That's not the truth at all, they are greatly missed. They are also greatly loved. We cherish the times we can be with or see them but in the times we don't or can't we also have some wonderful memories to make.

Why blog about this? Why bring it up? Why say what I've been thinking, feeling, worrying about? Because it's my space, because this is where I come to vent and quite often don't for fear of hurt feelings or misinterpretation. That's a bloggers greatest fear I think (aside from losing your archives) is for someone to take what they have to say in the wrong way and be offended.

This isn't meant in anyway to offend but to show gratitude to the One who brought us here and I guess to also my omage to my parents, the ones who love us beyond measure and take care of us, all of us, in a way that far exceeds what I ever imagined my adult years to be. It's also a shout out to the rest of our family out there because they need to know they are loved too. And that it would really help if all of the above mentioned people could just pack their stuff and move here.

Then I wouldn't have to worry, I could blog about something more interesting like my great love of ice cream Oreo sandwhiches and you could just enjoy the vast pleasure of our company.



Anonymous said...

I must tell you again how much I love your way of writing, you really are exceptional. As a Mom-in-law, I really am so blessed to have you in my family with my son. I really am greatfull to God for placing you where you are and the jobs He has placed you in. Like you said, it is a blessing to have your children with you at work and not with someone else. I used to be a worrier also, and finally came to the conclusions (with God's help) that if I lay them at the alter, He really does take care of all. I do wish that we were closer to you, but that is not where God has placed us and I believe that God really knows what He is doing and I have to have faith. All is well and great in life with God leading the way always. So on that note, God bless you all. Love you so much, John & Mom.

Anonymous said...

Wow Ashley!! So well put!! I am also a worrier, and this sheds a whole new light on life. We are also blessed to be part of our kids and grandchildren's lives. I also had wished as a child to have grandparents close by, and did not. I always wanted that for my kids, and luckily they did. And now we have our grandchildren. Sometimes life has tough decisions, but I always believe "Everything happens for a reason". Thanks for sharing this with all of us. Enjoy thoses little girls every day (I know you do)!!! And I know your Mom and Dad do!!! Look forward to reading your other blogs in the future. Take care, Kellee Romaine